Unapologetic Lust

Janesis Fernandes


Waking up on a hot summer day in Ludhiana meant waking up to the constant buzzing of the flies. Damini’s University was on a break and yet she was up by 8 in the morning. She fought the flies by kicking and slapping the air but the flies—they always won—as they flew from her leg to her hand, and finally to her face.

After she was done with her now ritualistic fight, she shifted to the chair by her window to look around her neighborhood. She was vigilant. She pitied her neighbors for their pathetic lives but enjoyed the chaos from afar. Most of them were married young with kids that would scream, fight, and husbands who couldn’t please at night. Amidst all that, she caught something out of the ordinary; Nina aunty waiting alone on the footpath, eagerly. A little later a kali peeli arrived, snowed with luggage. The door opened and Damini’s eyes widened. Could it be! She thought. Her doubt was soon to be cleared by Nina Aunty’s loud screech “Arjun, Mera Bachha!”

Arjun was Damini’s childhood friend who had proposed his love for her before leaving for university at Bangalore. At that time, Damini politely rejected him by saying—he was a year younger and that would mean a call for disaster. Arjun however, didn’t take it well. He cried for days and stopped talking to Damini. Nina Aunty took notice of this and wasn’t very happy about it either. Unbothered, Damini went on with her life. But today, the tables were to turn…

Damini ducked to get a better look at the spectacle below. He was taller, bigger even. While she was still trying to make sense of the present, Arjun moved his gaze up to her window. “Damini?” his hoarse voice snapped her out of her daydream. She replied with a “Ha” before slamming her head into the bed. She was blushing, uncontrollably. Unable to fathom her awkward behavior. He was only Arjun she told herself, but Arjun was no longer the boy next door, he was somebody else. Someone she never met.

It was noon now, Damini had been on her bed all morning replaying the same conversation in her head; each time thinking of an alternative response that wasn’t bound to fail. As she fretted over her foolish response, her stomach gurgled. She’d been inside for too long, skipping her morning breakfast. Amma knocked her room door several times before she gave up. Defeated by her hunger she decided to march to her kitchen in search of her mother’s South Indian food.

As she walked out her room door, she was once again greeted by a familiar voice as before, “Damini!” Arjun proclaimed. Before she could respond anything, amma complains to Arjun, “Here comes the Queen—I’ve been trying to get her out of her shed since morning Arjun, you don’t even know.” Embarrassed, Damini runs back to her room shutting the door behind her. “There she goes, now she’s upset!” amma grumbled.

Damini wasn’t upset she felt differently. Her face glowed red and she doubted if her heart could pop right off her chest. This time she had a clearer glance of what Arjun looked like; his hair was trimmed down like the military men, his jaw looked carved, his smile—his braces paid off—she chuckled. He looked older. His strength…she couldn’t even get started on that, she thought. He looked strong enough to sweep her off her feet, strong enough to touch her, strong enough to caress her, strong enough to kiss her stomach, her neck, and finally her lips.

A day after, Damini was trying out clothes to attend a wedding in the evening. She tried multiple outfits till she settled for a solid maroon saree that flattered her curves just right. Her blouse was black that cut deep right in the middle; a subtle hint of sultry could never go wrong.

For makeup, she lined her eyes with Kohl and tinted her lips with maroon. Her navel was shown deliberately, she loved getting a reaction out of girls her age and their mothers who’d all secretly envy the same for their daughters but curse between each other.

Damini was accompanied by her amma at the wedding. It was the same old crowd trying to impress the same old people, this wedding was just like others…greetings, nods, smiles, and small talks. When Amma met more of her acquaintances, Damini sneaked out to avoid the small talk. She found herself outside the party hall which people were still entering after the Phere. “Hey gorgeous” a voice called from behind. By now she was well aware of the voice, the voice that made her body feel hysteria. “So you ignored me twice” Arjun spoke again walking ahead facing her. Damini hesitated, “I…” Before she could complete, Arjun pulled her arm to go on a walk compulsively. They sneaked into a garden close by—completely deserted by its usual visitors as it was night time. They ditched the benches to sit on the grass. There wasn’t any exchange of words for long; there wasn’t much to say…both felt the noise of silence.

They gazed at the stars, but Damini’s mind was stuck on Arjun. She wanted him tonight, more than ever. Arjun began to confess shyly, “I know I liked you but now…” he was instantly stopped by Damini’s lips pressed against his. He pulled back in astonishment just to grab her into his arms seconds later. They kissed like it was going to be their last time—like it was their only chance. His hands ran all over her body as if it were freed from shackles. She liked his touch, his hard hands on her soft body felt like love-making itself. However, it wasn’t loving, it was lust. Unapologetic lust. She pulled her Saree up and sat on him. She felt his loin getting bigger under her. He kissed her neck and she kissed his. He moved his head down her body to lick her navel. He then unhooked her blouse. She was voluptuous naturally, he thought. He rubbed his hands against her bosom. Feeling her erect nipples eventually slipping his tongue around it. He licked it slowly and then sucked on them until she moaned with pleasure. She couldn’t care for anything else, all she wanted—was him.

He moved his hands down her legs while sucking on her breasts. Tickling her inner thigh would only get her wetter, he didn’t even have to be in her to make her feel things. He moved his fingers even further around her vagina, circling her vulva—he teased. She shrieked with pleasure. Her pleasure turned him on more. He then lay her on the grass gently and spread her legs apart, pulling her panties down he kissed her vulva. She was in no control now, her body felt liberated. She loved it. He then started licking her clit slowly, alternating between kisses and licks. He ate all her fluids, he liked the taste of her. She moaned softly trying not to utter a sound. He started licking her vigorously, she couldn’t be soft anymore. She moaned out loud and came. He felt accomplished.

But it didn’t stop there, his way to pleasure only her made her want more. She pushed him on the grass and unzipped his pants. She grabbed his penis, stroking it for a bit. She sat on him—thrusting her hips on him. Up and down she rubbed against him. His eyes were on her, unable to lose his focus. He was fascinated. She bent to kiss him more while simultaneously moving up and down. His hands run through her body feeling every curve. All at once, she moved faster, up-down, up-down, up-down. She moved even faster, determined. Both moaning loudly, feeling exhilarated. They came at the same time. Exhausted—she got off and lay next to him. They stared at the sky above which was hardly starry. Arjun spoke, “By the way, to complete what I said before we could um…” They grinned at the thought of what they’d done. Arjun completed, “but now I like you better” they burst into laughter for they knew a new friendship was found.


This work has been published in Beetle Magazine's June 2020 Issue. Read the full issue here: https://issuu.com/beetlemag/docs/june2020


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