The most outrageous question in the world:
"Can you describe yourself in one word?"
I have been called far too many adjectives,
Too many people have too many "interpretations"
Of me as a person.
Too many people told me who I am, who I should be.
Too many times I put on a mask,
And too many times,
I tried to be the light in the dark.
So much so that I burned myself out,
Because no matter what,
I had to stand out.
I wanted to be a face in the crowd,
I wanted to be a face in the crowd so badly,
That I build someone else
To take my place.
And stand above all,
As an example of;
"Be different, be yourself"
I was not trying to be sarcastic, I was not trying to be ironic.
I just realized too late, that I was a coward.
I was a clown.
I was so blinded by the glittering golden crown,
That I forgot all royalty of my own.
I sacrificed my principles to get an approval,
I changed my opinions to get a stranger's agreement.
I failed myself to feed others' desire for entertainment,
And in the end,
I lost who I am.
I don't know who is the villain,
But I can't call myself the victim.
I recall laughing at the quirky ones,
I remember scoffing at the optimistic ones,
I ridiculed the pessimistic ones,
And took advantage of the innocent ones.
But there was one character I never mocked,
It was the crazy girl at my school!
Her dreamy eyes were like an open book,
But in a different language.
She drew cartoons on the sky,
And imagined the most fascinating lives,
That intertwined into a story so smoothly,
It was a delightful design.
But I soon realized,
That I did not love the crazy girl.
I was just biased towards myself.
That was years ago,
I have grown up,
I have realized that change is not something bad.
Maybe it will take many more years to find the word
That perfectly explains me to the world.
But for now, I know,
I am not a jar to be labelled,
And even if I do end up to be one,
I refuse to be tagged.
Because it is the contents of the jar
That defines its purpose.
Not the shape or the size,
Nor the colour or the price.
I am young,
There is still a lot of life left
For me to learn,
But I have understood that,
There will always be someone prettier,
there will always be someone smarter,
There will always be someone taller, there will always be someone skinnier,
There will always be someone better.
But there will never be someone like me.