The monster under my bed
Craddles me to sleep
The ringing sound of the lullaby
Caressing my head .
I wake up to find his side empty ,
The lingering warmth an indication of his presence.
Last night was as special as the others
But where this goes now , only time will tell.
I walk into the room and there he is,
Claiming the space as his own,
As I cower , shivering,
He pulls me under the duvet .
Little does he know
The darkness and I are well versed with one another .
He figures it out eventually
No longer entertained ,
Moves on to his next prey
As I sleep cradling myself .
I wake up and the world is different
The air is lighter ,
The room , brighter.
The ashes of his cigarette still lay sprinkled.
Brush those off the carpet ,
Throw those t-shirts into a garbage bag.
Toxicity , my enemy
But submissive me , falters when he’s in sight .
A routine sets in .
This time filled with smiles and sunshine
Maybe I got lucky.
So I start going out again ,
With my girlfriends that I missed
Brunches and lunches ,
Dates that feel perfect .
Tonight is a night for me ,
Bubble bath and a cup of tea
A knock on my door
And time seems to stop .
I know he is ,
My senses are only in overdrive when he’s around ,
My hands are clammy and my hear rate is off the charts.
Do I let him in ?
To break the broken , taped together vase again
Or do I stay silent ?
Hoping he’ll come back another day .
Another day ,
When I’ll have the courage to face him.
Another day ,
When I can tell him I don’t want him or need him or love him.
But I’m too scared of the consequences.
So I open that door ,
I open it just an inch
But it’s enough for him to work his charm.
So that night he craddles me ,
Singing a lullaby ,
As I cry myself to sleep , yet again.