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Self-Destruction, Also An Uninstructed Habit

Bushra Shaikh 

Self-destruction can be a choice but, can also be an unknown habit !!

When we talk about self destruction, what strikes the mind is, ‘A lamentable habit which was back then a choice’.This choice was established due to thoughts, and these thoughts were created on the basis of several reasons, such as, a replacement to the agony & suffering, or just for the sake of amusement or enjoyment, could be due to pleasures, or for just achieving some amount of satisfaction. Why do people adopt it ? What if it turns into an unknowing habit? 
In simple words, 

What if you adopt it unknowingly? 
Without any such intentions ? 
What then ? 

(I’d like to explain ‘Self-Destruction, also an unknown habit’. In a form of a short story)

Sibel was the second child in her family, she had two siblings, one was her elder sister Zeeniya and the other was her younger brother Ayhan. Sibel was just seven years old when her younger brother Ayhan came into existence, she became insecure, as all the attention she once got was now given to Ayhan, so she tried finding shelter of affection in her elder sister, but as Zeeniya was in her teenage years she was facing her own puberty cycles, that made her go agitated. Sibel started feeling left out, whenever she tried to snuggle around her mother, Ayhan used to cry and her mother would rush to calm him down, the toys ones Zeeniya bought home for Sibel, was now being brought for Ayhan, the bed time stories narrated by her father, were now replaced with, ‘go to sleep Sibel now you are a grown up’. One fine day, Hamna got call from school, they informed her that her younger daughter was suffering from high temperature and was immediately to be taken to the doctor, Hamna hurried down to the school and got Sibel home. Sibel had fallen ill due to viral infection, the whole house was serving her with love, care and affection. Her parents sat beside her and pampered her all day, her elder sister got her hot chocolate milk, the attention she was ones asking for was now in her favour. Hamna and Zeeniya made Sibel sleep in the middle and narrated her bed time stories, sang lullabies for her as she slept. Soon Sibel  recovered and the affection drifted away from her. She started feeling left out again, Zeeniya got busy with her teenage life, and Hamna got busy in Ayhan. That’s when, Sibel asked if she could sleep with Zeeniya, and she said ‘no as now you have completely recovered and you can sleep in your own room because you are a grown up’. To this Sibel asked, ‘them why did you made me sleep in the middle, when I was not well’, Zeeniya replied saying ‘sweets you were not well, and you needed to be taken care of, god forbid if Ayhan falls ill, will treat him the same way, so now chop chop go to your room and sleep before the monster under your bed comes and eats you up’. Sibel left the room with disappointment, she wanted the attention all for herself , so she decided to fake her illness. Soon she grew up and this became her habit, to grab attention Sibel started putting herself in trouble, she gained sympathy from all this. But for how long would this work? Soon people started drifting away from her cry baby behaviour, as Sibel couldn’t see this happening she started maltreating herself, and ended up in the hospital for cutting her nerves.

Morel of the story:
Sibel needed love, care, attention and affection from her loved ones, and when she learnt that damaging herself would bring all these in her life, she started using it as a weapon to deal with the helplessness, loneliness, self-doubts and insecurities. Her method was wrong, yet little did she know, that she was waving a green signal to countless destructions to walk into her life and devastate it. Yes, there are several ways to deal with these kinds of situations and the easiest one of all is confronting your problems. Sibel could have spoken to her family about her timorous behaviour, but at that very time what she found unchallenging was scarring herself. This became her unknowing self-destructive habit, which now was imprinted in the subconscious mind. Whenever she faced circumstances which were not in her favour, instead of facing and brawling with it she chose what she thought was easy.


Masochism An Unknowing Self-Destructive Behaviour

This was case one ‘Unknowing Self-Destructive Behaviour’.
Now I’ll like to talk about and share few aspects regarding the case two which is ‘Masochism or Masochistic Behaviour’.


What is Masochism or Masochist?
Masochism is practice done by people to seek a kind of enjoyment or satisfaction from humiliating, mortifying or maltreating their own self.
For Example: A person likes to traumatised itself, it could be physically, emotionally or psychologically. One seeks for satisfaction in the suffering and agony coming from the humiliation it gets to hear, it purposely performs some activities to get itself in ignominy, that is, to get itself in public shame.
Masochist is the person which prefers to stay a pessimist and see the negative aspect of everything to seek some amount of satisfaction.

How is Masochism a self-destructive disorder?
Masochism is caused by the pain, gained from mutilating one’s own self.
1). Physical Masochism
One might try to engender afflicting in physical form that could be due to sex, or by torturing ones own body, by either not taking good care of it, or by scarring it to feel the pleasure of blood flowing out of their veins.
2). Emotional Masochism
One might try to keep itself indulged in toxic thoughts, memories, imagination or the experiences related to the past, replaying it again and again in its mind to feel the pain flow through itself. It might not won’t to let go these absurd emotions, as every time it replays these emotions the cycle of pain followed by satisfaction flows all around it.
3). Psychology Masochism
One might try to fix some statement in their subconscious mind, which either could be the blame, self-justification, or self-victimisation. It might keep repeating things to itself such as,
I am the cause of all the problems, each and every bad thing has happened because of me.
I cannot find a way to end this, as I don’t have the strength to and so
on.

How is Masochism related to Unknowing Self-destruction &
How to release oneself from it?
Masochism can be in any of us, it can be stored in ones mind without it knowing and that’s fine, it can be removed. All one must do is break the cycle of self-shame, self-pity, one must respect and love itself. When ever a negative thought tries to enter the mind, try replacing it with a positive thought. Meet more and more people with a vibrant aura, visit vibrant places, spend some time with your family, friends and of course the pets. Spend time with the nature, practice meditation and holistic ways. One can even confront a therapist and share its mind and heart out. Release all the cynical thoughts from the mind to fill in positive thoughts forms and energies.


All these are just mind patterns created by us to, either overcome something, or replace it, all that needed to be done is, break the negative patterns and rebuild the productive ones, which will not cause any sort of pain, suffering to others or to us.

Life is very beautiful,
All we have to do is,
Grow over the chaos,
The chaos which resides within us.

Thank you.
Hope you enjoyed reading it.


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