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It's loud

Hanan Rukkiya

Perfection is an illusion,
that you taught me,
When i was dying and rotting.
A cold lie that decays
with my good thoughts.
Truth- a hard whip
something to prep,
Your festering wounds.
Its loud inside my head,
claustrophobic with all those thoughts.
So i get out
on to a prairie,
reminiscing those moments -
Your lame jokes.
But then i feel weird,
I shouldn't be happy!
so overwhelmed.
An unending itch
on the back of my head..
I reach out,
but you're not there.
Vision clouds.
A tear drops out,
that traitor!
The Heavy heart,
a narcissistic git!
So what if,
I’m not okay.
What if,
I drown out the voices
inside my head.
What if, it's a pain
to lift my head every day.
and what if,
Sometimes, oh sometimes
A pinch of pain
does not cut it.
I'll find another way.
Today is just,
another day.


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