It Feels Good

Mustansir Sadriwala

Cigarettes lying down on the floor,
And the sky darker than my smoke,
Lying on the floor with shattered liqour bottles,
I beleive my lungs have already soaked in the bitterness of the air,
What more do I have to choke?
I feel me eyes seeing a loophole,
A loophole of my dreams and nightmares,
Whilst I am lonely,
Holding a lamp of false hope in my hand,
Wishing I could end this reality,
But eyes have never shown me any picture with more clarity,
Sweat and blood running down dry my body,
Filling up the river of my lies and false promises,
And I see my reflection,
I see a man in anguish and pain,
But what could my unfortunate reflection even show,
I've been through a life I've never wanted,
Like wishing for a million cutscenes and skipping the moments you've never wished to encounter,
Man realizes he has bought all his pleasures at the cost of millions of lives,
And I too have been wasted,
But at this moment I feel this has always been my pleasure,
Finding pain in every action of life,
Killing my thoughts and unleashing my wrath on my own poor soul,
A soul which was devoured by a hungry animal,
Destiny was the animal's name,
An animal that could bring you endless pain and suffering,
Or even pour down pleasures which even heaven could not offer,
They say man writes his own destiny,
But this animal of my making has bitten it's own master,
I would call him a traitor,
The greatest incarnation of deciet,
But who knew he would bring me this day,
Where I smoke untill my lungs start roaring with pain,
Where my bleeding ain't make a difference to me,
Where even the sky's color doesn't compel me to be considered about anything,
Not my Love, not my Body, nor my Soul,
Now I see why my reflection is in pain,
Afterall my soul has left me, but mocks me in reflections, in my shadows,
And neithertheless this suffocating, this pain,
Brings me no harm nor pleasure,
But undoubtedly,
It makes me feel good.

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