By Akanksha Rai Sharma
I am fine
My hands cupping my head like pine
looking at the sunset’s last shine
my soul feels like an extinguished dime.
I think I am fine
Because I heard it when I was nine
that people lived without hands , eyes , legs Without remorseful sign
that lightened my heart and my spirit for the time.
I wish I am fine
When I see the world heading towards its doom
And waiting for humanity to be destroyed with one last boom
While looking at wrinkled skins and starving jaws , with bloodshed and the time running toward humanity’s dead line
I wish I could change the satan’s mind to mine
Then everything would have been fine.
Nice poem. Like others, I too like the progression of “I am fine”. I did feel however, that the rhyme was a little forced. Great work though!
Such a beautiful piece! Loved it! Also, could you give me your feedback on my poem as well. It’s named – Hello! Darkness, my ‘only’ friend. Thank you :)
I loved how the poem developed from ‘I am fine’ to ‘I wish I am fine’. Great work. :-)
I liked the way this poem starts with confidence as shown in the line “I am fine” and then in the middle, it says “I think I am fine” and ultimately this changes to “I wish I am fine”. Without literally asking, you seem to be questioning, “Am I really fine?”
Great work. :)
Read mine too btw (“Lone Bird On The Barren Tree” published here)
Have a read to ”Udaasi” once, if you are able to understand Hindi :)
Just below your poem !
Thank you Monica! <3
The way you have used the last two lines are seriously very powerful Akanksha. In all, I loved it.
Thank you Khyati and AKG.❤
Pallavi, I wanted it to be perceived in 3 notions – the present, the hope and finally the utopian. That is why I couldn’t exaggerate it further. I am grateful to have had your attention though. Thanks!
I liked the way you have used the RHYME SCHEME poetic device in lieu of conveying a deep message with the usage of uncomplicated vocabulary.
I enjoyed this one, it’s a beautiful poetry piece, I just wish it was a little longer, I loved how the ‘I am fine’ was modified and reiterated each time
Beautifully paired :)