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Day 103 of pandemic

Rebekka Kaur

Day 103 of pandemic,
I did wake up feeling the sun on my face today but I wish it could reach my soul. I wish I could call him from my old iPhone 6s and tell him in my half-asleep state that we are going to that park and sit by the pond for hours. If we could go, I would carry strawberries and plums maybe but also a bag of potato chips which are our favorite. I would give him kisses and trick him into eating less of chips and more of the sweet taste of strawberry on my tongue. I wish we would just sit there like that looking at ducks and snacking while holding each other’s hands. We would also click some blurry selfies which might not be clear in our camera roll but will always stay clear and fresh in our consciousness. At some point, we would simply lay down on the grass by each other’s side in silence while I use his arm as a pillow. He would think about nothing and watch the clouds passing by and I would try to figure out how ferocious yet compassionate this sun is. It’s 151.87 million Kms far and still manages to burns our fragile skin in the summer afternoons but it also gives life to the atoms we are made of. When the sun will have its turn to light up the other side of the world and the sky will start turning to the shade of his pink lips, we would get up and run to the nearest station to catch our subway towards home. Just like always, we wouldn’t want the day to end, so he will take out his phone and tell me about the second part of my favorite movie; The kissing booth, is out in theatres. I would smile and take the hint that I’m not the only one who wants to stick by. So, we would re-route to the theatre near our house and buy tickets for the show. When the show would get over and my body will be stiff because of not moving an inch away from his arms for the whole time, he would help me get up and smile, because he might not say it often but he loves it when I’m this close to him. On our way back home, he would stop by an ice cream parlor and get me my favorite scoop of mint chocolate chip ice cream without me asking for it. I would once again ask myself, “how did he know?” and just be happy about being with a person who knows me better than the person I see when I look in the mirror every day.
But here I’m laying down in bed, writing this and waiting for his good morning text. The coffee on my bedside table has turned cold and the cookies I used to eat with it have run out of stock in the shopping mart just like everything else. The half-eaten chocolate from last night is melting slowly without really hurrying, giving me time to put it back in the fridge just like the universe is giving us time to heal before it puts us back into the world again. But I don’t feel like getting up today, I’m gonna let the coffee get cold and let the chocolate melt because I feel tired. I feel tired because it’s day 103 of the pandemic and this is the longest I have gone without feeling his hands on the fragile skin of my cheeks. I don’t feel like getting up and...
Dear diary, I just received his text while my phone’s battery was hopelessly on one percent. The text said, “Good morning, I wish I could be out there with you right now but we will, once everything is fine. I have ordered your favorite snacks and they will reach your place soon but till then get up and get fresh. We are going to binge-watch all the Disney movies today. I love you.”
I think I’m gonna get up and get it going.
See you tomorrow, dear diary.


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