Your Mother – Delhi Poetry Slam

Your Mother

Shruti Singh

shall I sit with you, maa?
 I ask,
 while the milk bubbles over the stove,
 you say they add a lot of water now,
 yet you skim the foam like it’s holy —
 as if you're boiling Yamuna in a bowl.
 
 you stir in saffron and ghee,
 then press pistachios on top —
 a sweet in the colours we salute.
 
 and our home begins to smell
 like a courtroom,
 a police station,
 a politician's drawing room.
 
 I bet if ants could speak
 they'd scream all the stories sugar hushed.
 
 you cut the sweet into pieces —
 squares like states,
 big and small.
 some with almonds,
 some near the edge,
 some fall to the floor.
 

I place that piece on a newspaper —
 it has the headline about a farmer
 who drank his debts
 like pesticides,
 and beneath a photo 
 of Justice Lady of India-
 redesigned without her blindfold.
 they say she sees clearly now,
 or maybe they’re just
 not afraid of being seen anymore.
 in the corner, a celebrity
 welcomes her newborn daughter,
 and you guess the name —
 like you once did
 for your unborn son
 even before the day 
 your daughter was born.
 
 you’ve got a stain on your saree, maa —
 your pretty Banarasi,
 with peacocks and lotus motifs
 woven into the pallu.
 zari running along the border
 like golden boundaries.
 woven by hands 
 that never owned gold.
 the stain sits too tight.
 
 better give it to the maid, you say —
 along with the sweet 
 that touched the floor.
 
 you say she’s lucky —
 reservations,
 free ration,
 even has a fridge now.
 I’ve seen you give her my seat,
 but never once ask her to sit.
 

 she washes her hands 
 before she touches our home,
 but the tap water stinks like eggs,
 like coins,
 like something already spent,
 like prayers answered
 by pipelines they never cleaned.
 
 and the maid asks me,
 is that how Ganga tastes now?
 
 the feet of your god have lost their paint.
 I hold the paint in my hand and wonder —
 what shade do you repaint belief?
 I choose the shade brighter 
 than my skin tone,
 brighter than the colour of wheat,
 of soil,
 and even your rivers.
 
 and suddenly, I realise —
 this wasn’t the kitchen.
 this wasn’t a recipe.
 this was a country
 serving pride in plates
 and shame on the floor.
 
 and you, maa —
 you were never just my mother.
 you were the nation
 Our Bharat Maa, 
 their Bharat Maa!
 and I,
 I’ve been trying to sit with you
 but you —
 you never tried to stand up for me.


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