By Parbin Choudhury
When the lights go out,
And the night sky emerges alive
With the twinkling stars in millions
I look at them stars,
And they wink back at me, as if to say:
“Start dreaming Young Lady: This is your time”
It is the Wink of Hope I say,
Dare to Dream, the stars say.
And my heart hops along the valley of hope,
Where it is just me, and my stream of thoughts that flow through my pen
As I write pages after pages, all that has been locked in my heart for ages
Ah! What peace,
To let go off all that unease,
To do what makes me lose track of time,
To do what makes me feel alive,
But That is just in that dream, That too just at night,
When every expectation and every restrictions stays quiet.
But every next bright morning brings with it, a familiar darkness,
As the papers read the death of another youth: “Social Recognition” aspirant!
They name it suicide: what the child did to end her life,
Why don’t they call it Martyrdom?
Sacrifice of one’s own dreams to fulfil those of others:
Plunge oneself into a War of Heart, Soul and Mind;
While struggling to bring victory, fame and name to the family,
Those wrong decisions, they seem hasty outburst at the spurt of moment,
Whereas It is the outburst of patient tolerance of societal insensitivity,
What happens in this War, only the ‘Jawaan’ who fought it, knows it.
The vulnerability, the pain, the agony; Others can seldom fathom
And none accepts, none attempts to seek the reason behind
They say so easily she quit her life!
Is that what we call life?
Her life….
All her teenage years,
Locked up in a tiny space crammed with books,
Twelve hours each day, struggling to achieve, a dream that was not hers
Attempt after attempt
For the “Social Recognition” examination
Where all merit is judged by grades
Could anyone have known, How bad her heart ached,
As she Failed to fulfil societies’ wishes so high
That she bid to her own dreams goodbye
In a quest to win the so- called rat race,
Little does she know it has no end and wears no mercy on its face.
They tag her coward, giving up on her father’s dreams,
But is it not the death of the child’s own dreams?
Her desires Withered under peer pressure,
Dreams for some, is indeed expensive leisure.
Children end their lives, thinking life is disappointments
Whereas, life was just hope; Disappointment came from people they considered life.
The burden of unfulfilled dreams
Not many are able to carry
I wonder if these stars had winked to that child
The wink of hope, to dare to dream
I being a survivor of this War
I know that phase in and out
From a war, plunged into another
From one darkness to another
The plight never seems to end,
Only the name changes, frustration is constant
Last time it was to get into the course
This time it is to persist there
Last time, the pressure was from Parents and society,
This time it is the teachers and seniors
Last time it was to fulfil the indebtedness
This time it is for the sake of duty.
Day and Night, No less is the plight
I tell you it is never end
I have seen both sides
The stories of Martyrdom prevail on the other side too
Some martyrs of this side were the winners of that side
Surprise! Or Shock
That is the truth
There is no light at the end of this tunnel
There is no win at the end of this war
I know the game, I have been there
There is darkness here and a darker darkness there
To this society that suffocates,
Let her be, that’s all I wanted to say
Let her do what her heart yearned for
Let her do what makes her feel alive
Let her find her own way out
She may write, She may read, She may dance, sing or play
In everything she does with her heart, she shall shine
She may do whatever made her happy.
For ‘Happy’ is what you want her to be
I think you forgot the purpose,
For I have been there, I have survived this war
In fact, I am surviving it each day of my life
Yes, the victory plunged me into a lifelong state of war,
That very day I won your dream,
That very day I lost my dream.