Unspoken Norms

By Shubhamanek Dindadahalli

 How does it feel
 to ask for permission every time you step outside?
 To wear clothes not for yourself,
 but to please a world
 that never asked what you wanted?
 
 How does it feel 
 to explain every call
 who it was, why it lasted so long,
 as if affection or laughter needs permission?
 
 How does it feel 
 when “settling down”
 is not about finding peace,
 but about getting married
 as if a ring is the final proof of worth?
 
 How does it feel
 when the loan for your education
 is seen as a burden,
 but the cost of a wedding is considered a blessing?
 
 How does it feel
 to be told to stay gentle
 while the world waits in the shadows,
 ready to haunt you for the smallest slip?
 
 How does it feel
 to be measured by your skills in a home,
 while your milestones, your victories,
 are pushed into the background?
 
 Why is it that when a man lifts a ladle,
 they call him noble,
 but when a woman does the same
 after a long day's work,
 it's just her duty?
 
 Why must she be present at every family gathering,
 even when deadlines loom over her head
 while his absence is excused?
 "He is busy."
 "He has work."
 
 Why is it always her career that bends,
 her ambitions that shrink,
 her dreams that vanish
 when a child is born?
 
 Remember
 equality isn’t letting her work.
 Equality isn’t letting her learn.
 Equality is when no one lets her.
 Her life is her own.
 Her choices are just hers.