By Dr. Ishita Das
Burning, crashing, dying a little
Every day, every moment, a faint memory
Mehrangarh, Jodhpur, your gorgeous face
The first time I hugged you, your black shirt
If only I knew your heart is a black hole.
Twin flame, my twin flame
My heart has shattered a thousand times
Your face is all I see
In those damned pieces
Shining, grinning slyly, smugly, knowingly.
Sixteen years have passed
And many lovers have tried to
Sew my broken heart
Still, my heart quivers at your thought
It beats faster, skips a few beats, damn you.
They say that chasers should not chase
If only runners would stop running
A hurricane, a tsunami, and an earthquake
Are things I feel at once
When I think of not reuniting with you.
My heart betrays me, my twin flame
And yet, I feel more alive
When I am with you in the dreamscape
Escape, why can’t you escape them?
Who are they to tell you who to love?
Does your heart not long for me?
Do you not find yourself utterly breathless?
When you see me with your eyes closed
Storms raging, fires roaring
A drop of crimson tracing your lips, every time.
I have tried to find and failed spectacularly
Pieces of you in multiple men
One even sucked my blood, my spirit
Till I had enough
Damn you and your allure, my twin flame.
Your pride, your lofty ideals, could not
Stop you from loving me
My thoughts, feelings and dreams are like stars
In the galaxy created just for the two of us
If only you would pick up the damn telescope.
I do not believe when you say
Tears do not stream down your face
When you think of what ‘we’
Could have been, should’ve been
Oh, twin flame! My naïve twin flame.
And yet you leave me on ‘read’ and hide
Behind your YouTube and Spotify playlists
You devil incarnate, your hellfire knows no bounds
And yet you are tethered, like a simple dog
And your leash is my prize, thank you, God.
Oh, twin flame, my twin flame
I am sure they find you haughty
With your black car, black robes and black frame
Your love for success and slender women
Are not novel, actually old, I know.
You must hate the busy schedule
The circular research, appearances, and arguments
Spending your long weekends alone
The only luxury of having my company
In your dreams, visions, and wild thoughts.
You may call me delusional, but I know
A man when he can’t love a woman
Your dark chocolates from Bombay still taste bitter
But your face bites me, haunts me
The distance between us, the most bitter.
If only I could fly into your arms
And breathe in air that your lips exhale
I might live a little happier
Abduct me with your love
I want to be the Persephone to your Hades.
Your denial is amusing, interesting
I admire your guts for not embracing me
As my soul dances with your soul
A bond so profoundly intimate, intricate
Like two white snakes forever intertwined.
I don’t want to wish on shooting stars
I don’t want to alchemize the old memories
If you are not ready for me
My twin flame, come find me
In the depths of your damned soul.