By Paromita Gupta
I take a shower
before the dip.
Will this absolve me
of all my earthly sins?
I think
and take “the” shower.
I change into
a saffron robe.
Why this now?
My mind probes.
But I adhere.
I'm asked
to be silent
as I walk
down the steps.
I'm gentle.
Not because
I'm told.
But because
the steps
are really steep.
But soon
the self
is overwhelmed.
This sacred pool
of water,
invites you
to dive in!
To lose yourself
in its depths
like a sinking ship.
The thoughts
decide to
recede
in silence.
A few more steps
and you're
in the pool
where divinity
beckons you.
Willing
to be one
with you!
Are you?
Water
they say
opens you up.
Loosens your fears
to gain
better perception.
An inclusive sight.
Hoping
that once
drenched
you would
soak in
His divinity.
better,
At least by a
miniscule.
You see the Linga.
You're at ease now.
Your hands,
Held in a fist
until now,
have loosened up.
Now you want to
embrace him.
circumambulate him.
Hold him close.
Not wanting to
let go.
How could this
even be true?
I just hugged Shiva.
and HE hugged me back!
Then others prod you
and you move,
though
you don't want to.
Whether it's
your tears,
or just the water.
No one can tell.
Who cares?
Now,
each is lost
in this
mystical spell.
And I move.
I walk towards
this
waterfall.
Man-made is it?
Oh! built by the Guru.
That's Shiva
in human form!
The Fall,
like all ""falls"",
Intends to,
wash
away the
remnants
of every
sticky
bit of you
which
the gentle waters,
couldn't sway.
And
the water
literally
hits you
on the
head.
So that,
“every
sleeping
bit of you”
wakes up!
The inertia
that still remains,
you lose…
as you make
the steep climb!
And everything
in you
that could possibly be,
is awake now!
And now you've
been
deep cleaned.
Sins?
Are they there?
Who cares?
Me?
I feel washed.
In a long long time…
I feel so light…
So bare.
And now I
change
into my
old clothes!
My insides,
still
feel cleaned
thread-bare.
Am I yet,
open enough
to meet
That entity -
to embrace
That invisible energy?
As I walk towards
That pious shrine.
I bow down
to everyone.
Am I Seeing
the divine?
Should I enter (the temple)
or just
wait outside?
Simply sit
and
close my eyes?
Open.
Closed.
Do as you wish.
His Presence
is just
too hard
to miss!
The mercurial water,
The steps,
The dip?
Just Lost
in
His Vibrant
embrace
His Grip!
I know not
a thing
and I won't
conjure.
I have
not
the sense
to know
nor
the eyes
to see!
In accepting
this delighted
ignorant “me”!
I simply
soak
in ecstasy.
Wanting
to be
set
forever free.
By this invisible
mystical
force!
This gentle
guiding light,
my Source!