By Al Sha
Between my heart & my words
there is a space no one knows..
A place I hold my breath
to dive into a house...
a house with plenty rooms..
a few painted bright... a few painted mellow...
a few, I dare not say—just a typical gray.
A mirage of a garden...
just like those people I know—
distantly real yet familiarly fake.
The same people I see every day
but never in the ways I used to.
It was full of plants I didn't water
and plants that didn't grow...
weeds I never wanted,
flowers without a meaning,
and seeds I forgot to sow.
Hung on the walls
are the smallest of moments
spread into eternities
I could not ever handle.
Amidst all of these,
I stand with my newest heartbreak,
waiting to be framed
in the mockery of my mind,
clashing with my soul
to bury it all underground.
All I get is a moment.
In this gasp of a moment, I must decide
what to speak and what to do—
for I cannot hold on for long.
I'll need to breathe in,
or I might die again...
and this time, for real.
I think and think and narrow a win,
then I run to change it all.
I stop midway and foresee the end—
afraid of losing it all.
I let my guards down,
with nothing left to do,
let my silent tears fall..
These were the days I was
a thirteenth in a clock,
blaming the time, once and for all.
Now I realize,
that the fault was not in our stars.
It was always in our fears,
fears we were desperately
trying to hide from all.