By Apra Jain
I met a boy
who giggled away to glory with friends
after they pulled another prank on the teacher
A newcomer, I watched him
from the corner of my eye
Looking up from the books once a while
hoping to catch a glimpse of this goofball
What a beautiful boy!
Such pristine eyes
A priceless smile
I believed in love at first sight
at the age of 10
And a sight to behold, it was.
Eagerness and nervousness went hand in hand
when I’d be ready before time,
wishing to get a few extra moments
with him, without him even knowing it.
He was a Libran
Charming as ever
Politeness ran in his blood
Mischievous but never ill intentioned
He made me feel the feelings
I didn’t even know the terms for
2 years later, I mustered the courage
To tell him how I felt
On Facebook
I can’t recall how he rejected me
But the way he did it
was nothing short of a gentleman
I fell hopelessly in love
As I helplessly watched him holding her hand
At 12 I suffered through my first heartbreak
Even though a lover wasn’t found, the love was never lost
He was a kind lover I never had.
I met a boy
Reckless and unabashedly unapologetic
A bold beast, that one.
He hit me like a wave of energy
“Have I known this guy for years?”
I thought on the 4th day.
DMs turned to Whatsapp
Texts turned into calls
For the next 6 months, he stuck around
through my highs and falls
We finally met in December,
Shyness & electricity walked hand in hand
A kiss so wild, I still remember
But our time together slipped like sand
“I love you” I told him one day
I can’t recall how he dodged it
But the way he did it
was nothing short of a vulnerable person
Because he always went back
to the trauma of the ghost of his past
Nothing I did could make us last
He was a ferocious lover I never had.
I met a boy
On a dating app
If chocolate boys were real
It couldn’t get more real than him
A creative person, an artist
“Reasons to not fall in love this time”
I was ready with my list
After a string of flings
I knew better than to trust his type
Then, we met.
Here was a boy with multiple layers
Much like myself & boy was I fascinated!
He could be as wild as he could be tender
He could be as intense as he could be fun
He enjoyed memes as much as his books
He was everything I’d wished for under the sun
“Shit” I exclaimed to myself
“I’m in love with him”
Though I never told him that
I knew he wasn’t looking for love
But we would touch like lovers
We would kiss like our lips belonged to each other
I can’t recall how he denied it all
But the way he did it
was nothing short of an ignorant human.
He would still go out with other women
And I with other men
Yet this one stuck around in mind
He reminded me of all the boys I’d met in the past
He was the toxic lover I never could find.
And then I met you,
You came into my life
Like a tornado
Someone like whom I’d never quite met before
You dived deep into my core
You understood my words
But more than that you deciphered my silences
You started conversations
You made efforts
And bought me desserts!
You were far away yet you were the closest
You made sure I realised I deserved the world
I didn’t know God still created men like you
And that I had the privilege of knowing one out of the few
You were like a mirror
I couldn’t believe we were so similar
You cracked every Bollywood curveball I threw
Every day you helped me get through
“Your thoughts have a pornographic effect on me.
I LOVE YOU” read your text that evening
It didn’t take too long to figure
That you were a keeper.
While I went back & forth & back again
You stood your ground & kept me sane
“I love you too” I confessed
I will never forget how you received it
And the way you did
was nothing short of being my best friend.
You’re the Sheela to my Osho
A complete package FoSho,
The distance between us no longer has an effect so profound
You’re the perfect lover I know I have found.