By Yadawanka Pala
I have never tried to write in my mother tongue
my two year old does not even speak Pnar
but when he calls me Mynsiem instead of beloved
and when I comfort my daughter
in tunes of ham iam, ham iam khon
it just feels different
I grew up in boarding school
with friends from different places
we would exchange little phrases in every dialect
I was asked what the meaning of my name meant
yada- protect
wanka - her
it was simplified so they could understand
but my parents actually meant
mynried daw em wow ri wow sumar pha
someday someone will take care of you
implying that I was the eldest daughter
I was going to move away from home
I was meant to be somebody’s other than theirs
and now I am
now I am Mynsiem and Bei
kurim and ka iung ka sem
I am only half of where I need to be
but I am whole
because of my little family of three
I am only starting to understand
the complexities of my culture
when I am trying to teach her
to say thiahsuk instead of goodnight
chait hi phi instead of how are you
but she is almost fluent in english
with her own formation of sentences
and I am so proud to call her my own
but I wish I was rooted enough in my identity
to teach her the ways
I wish we had more people around
who do not speak english
like my Grandmother
then maybe she will eat ja and dai
instead of donuts and sausages
maybe she will say ale Beipun lai ke i
but she is still too young to understand
and I am still too new to this to strictly implement it
but I am willing to try
make her say Pa maya sang o phi
or khublei chibun
I think both of our worlds would turn
if one day she chooses to speak the language
we both grew up learning
I don’t know why I have never tried to write in my mother tongue
naduh myntu I promise I will do more than just incorporate it.
_______________________________________________
Pnar- language spoken by the Jaintias
Ham Iam, Ham Iam Khon- don’t cry my little one
Bei- Mother
Kurim- Wife
Ka Iung Ka Sem - Home
Ja, Dai – Rice and Dal
Ale Beipun Lai Ke I- Come, Grandmother let’s go out
Pa, maya sang o phi- Father, I love you so much
Khublei Chibun- Thank You
Naduh Myntu- Starting Today