By Swarnima Pandey
Dear dad, Will I ever be enough?
Strong enough to handle the hate you throw my way
Weak enough to cry in your arms
Bold enough to run away from this grieving cage
Kind enough to offer you the forgiveness you never asked
Dear dad,
Is this what you hoped for?
A broken daughter crying for the life she never had
Another woman you call wife, her screams swallowed by silence
I can’t tell if it gives you joy or if it makes you sad
For your words say sorrow but your actions scream glad
I was never good at it you know,
The entire father daughter charade
I not someone you want, and I must accept it
I’ll never be fond of you, I’ll always be afraid
Dear dad,
Does your heart beat faster too?
When you’re carving scars on mine
You despise me and I despise you,
The words we split will stand through time.
You make me want to die; you make me sick
You squash my flowers; you drain out my ink
You sit there spitting on my face with those condescending eyes
You sit and gloat, watching me struggle to keep this head afloat.
That smug face and the satisfaction you must get
Trying to kill me alive spinning up things I never said
I just hope it’s worth it, ruining me for your thrill
Because one day I’ll be home, and it won’t be the one you built.