By Shazia Anjum
Couldn't the occasion of rebuke be called off today
As if he never knew, it was a special day.
Couldn't my flaws for this day remain unnoticed
As if I ever debated, I'm a perfectionist.
My shadow wouldn't be wandering here soon
Couldn't this thought trounce his frown this noon.
For the tenth time, I say
Unharmed in my bag, the requisite papers stay
For the hundredth time, my eyes convey
Some papers' safety, your heart doesn't pray.
Your sweaty hands, I know, plea for a hug
Apathy I show, makes the shaky hands grope for a bag to lug.
After countless efforts fail to celebrate the desired liberty
The hands reach out to the diary she gave me.
The eyes are dazed as sees his teary eyes celebrate my worldly entry
May be that day, the swaddled me was told what his heart actually prayed
The baby me so happily, so proudly, gave him the cuddles, the hugs he wanted that day
Roaming around with me on his shoulders was his favorite job, I must say
Oh! This picture of him and little me on my school's first day
Vacations with him, indeed were so gay
I remember he spent the whole night to put my cycle right
And me here, acting to study solemnly, after for new games, he bribed.
Every paper in it, tells a story of us
Bring back to life, the bliss, the joy
And moments of fuss.
Our bond was so firm and love copious
I don't get how
Indifferences and distances cropped up.
The fiery youth belittled every chatter of the middle aged father.
Once a hero, his efforts and deeds got depreciated in every matter.
Objecting and hindering and occasions of rebuke
Became his only ways
With me, to conversate.
My shadow wandering in the streets of life realize
What u said was never wrong, if not precise
You were just even when you criticized
It was my fault, I belittled all your advice.
How precious your presence was, now I realize
And after every rudeness I showed
Believe me, with regrets in my heart
On the bed, I lied
Though never thought once before arguing
To say sorry, I felt shy.
The sweaty hands pleading for the hug I denied
Since then, a place in my heart,
An ocean of guilt has occupied
When unquiet mind meets quiet nights
Anecdotes of my stupidity, the quietness recites
Countless times, you made efforts
For our bond to revive
Countless times, without any reason
I turned a blind eye.
But why do I suffer so much
In the stillness of nights
You are no stranger
And I'm your little boy.
Yes, I'll disclose my love
And for my conceited youth, I'll apologize
Sweaty hands grope for the mobile
Words hardly come out, I only cry
Realizing, I'm only worrying him, I reply
Father, I love you and I'm sorry
For not nicely bidding you good bye...
Both finally in relief,
Breathe a sigh.