By Aakanksha Pai
(On learning to love)
I’ve always loved the sight of a river at its mouth.
So unbridled, so wild, so powerful, so quick.
So alone.
So damaging.
The water crashes against rocks,
Splinters flow, silt rushes,
The water’s cold as I dip my hand,
It threatens to wash me away.
I’ve always loved a river at its mouth.
No drop that has touched the banks touches it again.
The silt and water are not destined to be together,
Unless in a flood.
The silt resists,
The river flows on.
The roots lose their grip,
The river flows on.
The rocks are almost gone,
The river meanders,
There’s nothing to fight against anymore.
The river curves and dips,
In this middle it is confused.
When you’ve been at war for too long,
You begin to love the battle.
Peace seems foreign,
Distasteful.
The river meanders,
The river wonders.
In this middle,
The river lets the bank guide it.
The silt directs,
The river accepts.
I’ve always loved a river at its mouth,
In the middle,
I meander.
The river loses pace,
The river loses rage.
Each drop,
Never to meet the silt again,
The silt tests.
The river flows,
The river slows.
I’ve always loved a river at its mouth,
Pure power,
Not a hint of love.
All of that got crushed against the rocks.
The meandering stops.
The river is slower,
It’s foreign this pace.
It’s foreign this love.
There’s mangroves now.
The silt is thicker.
The river bears the weight.
The river has only known rage,
It waits for the rain, to flood.
The silt stays,
The roots stay.
The silt disappears,
The river sees space.
No rocks to crash against,
Nowhere to rush to.
No silt?
The river slows.
There’s life, if you pry in.
The rushing river,
Looks deep within.
There’s life thriving inside.
The rage is gone.
There’s life thriving inside,
And beneath it all,
The silt.
The silt and river meet after all,
Both changed.
The river slower,
The silt heavier.
Life between them.
Together an ocean,
Calm as a storm.
I’ve always hated the sight of a river at its mouth.
So reckless, so untethered, such pretence.
The river feels it’s alright,
To finally just be.
A river runs slowest,
Closest to the sea.