When The Party's Over – Delhi Poetry Slam

When The Party's Over

By Kajal Sonkar

When Depression rings the bell ,

Anxiety feels obligated to come to the party

Your body trembles and shakes like a ship wrecked on the way

You try to grasp for a breath but it's like holding the lightening

Your heart seems to jump out of your body like when your crush looks at you but only it's not romantic

You are not safe and stranded

You wanna call for help but only to be double crossed by your body who seem to forgot how to make a sound

You don't wanna scare them away with your transformation into a werewolf who only knows how to devour others

So you run into woods and wrapped around in chains in order to keep your demons away but have you

ever succeeded

The scars on your body which you hide like a bounty are the witness

Maybe it's a punishment like Eve who got bitten

The rivulets which descends from your face are enough to flood the Nile

Your screams are enough to be approved by a Banshee

You scratched the deck in an effort of struggling but the ship is only sinking

When the party's over , all there's left are the remains of your struggle ,the fresh cuts, the blood rush

Congrats you survived the trial but only to be accused of playing the victim

You are still at the Gallows at the mercy of your Depression

You don't know when the next slash will be

How deep is too deep, your underwater monologue is boring

Your Depression is like a possessive partner who tells you to send others away

Living rent free in your head ,taking all of you lil by lil till there's no You left

You rest in your hearse,only the dead feel comfortable now

You map all the crematories and graves, you are a local among the deads

You have written your own eulogy in case everyone forgets

Death doesn't scare you now ,living does

It's a peculiar quality of your Depression ,it never fails to leave it marks like a tattoo

It's not a sturdy ground ,it's a quagmire

Every step you take , every move you make

Your Depression is a Know -It- All

It stalks you down but only you can't lodge a complaint

It's a ticking bomb ,you never know when and where it will blast

Maybe it will be on a family gathering or maybe when you are alone

But you definitely don't want it to be the former, you don't want to hear the words,

"Stop creating a scene " ;Your sadness is contagious

It will only break your already tortured heart

You try to make peace with Your Depression but you can't put forward the conditions, you are not eligible

The once tenant has now become the landlord

The only way to get out is by being buried in your Grave

But you are stuck in a dichotomy, it's a paradox

You burnt the bridges yourself now there's no one to look back

You can only be a hostage with a Stockholm Syndrome

Maybe it will ease the pain

Till the next blow ,Your Depression awaits... 


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