BY ROSEMARIA MATHEW
A late night message
A long lost friend
Brief remembrances of things past-
"I miss you."
Miss me! I wonder surprised.
But who am I
Missable -
Loveable-
Bearable -
And then disposable.
In these endless cycles
With countless faces
Maybe I lost me...
Maybe I am finding me...
A resurrection awaits
Or a death calls
Digging deep in rubled memories
Running far from unformed fears
Maybe I am...
Maybe I am not...
Maybe I am dead alive or alive dead...
Or maybe I am lost...
Lost to myself or lost in myself
Or perhaps, lost in this world
Whose beauty is sometimes an illusion,
and happiness elusive.
Maybe I have touched my joy...
But unrealized I am
Maybe I am running from the unknown...
Or maybe towards it...
How will I, so flawed and vulnerable
Live???
I don't even know what life is!
To whom will I turn for answers?
When none can answer theirs
Whom will I love-
Whom will I miss-
When I don't know who I am
Do I exist in Wordsworth's solitude ?
Or in Whitman's multitude ?
If I exist at all
Am I a non-existent deception?
Or an omniscient illusion?
Am I there
Or am I here
If at all I am
Am I a floating bubble or a sinking weed?
A wandering cloud or a dormant seed?
Where do I place my anchors
Where are my shores
Am I the helpless sailing ship?
That dances to the wind
Or the ignorant sleeping traveler
Who believes the utopia destination?
Am I the capped captain giving orders?
Or the watchful guard waiting patiently?
No.....I am none of these.
Perhaps I am a story
Centuries old and out of place
A disobedient tale that escaped the creator's mouth
And roaming the mortal deserts
Living a thousand lives a day
Waiting for the poet's caress or the creator's curse!!!
Fragmented as these lines
Are my death and resurrection
My beauty and eternity
All in the curse or caress that awaits!
My karma calls
And I answer I must
In curses or caresses
And none will know
And who will miss me once cursed or caressed?
For answer I must
My karma calls
And answer I must
In curses or caresses.