By Kiruthika Palraj
With words like daggers, we taunt each other,
It burns me from inside that we don't know any better
All I ever heard was 'Happiness is temporary'
But today as I sit in a corner, wiping my bloodshot eyes,
I wonder why nobody ever said happiness, for me, was just a memory;
Days pass one by one and I'm tired of these sugar-coated lies,
I just patiently wait as a part of me dies.
"No family is perfect," you said
But I used to think that mine was,
So why can't you give me a moment to grieve this loss?
I'm forced to smile - "Why the long face?"
Well, what good does it do to hide behind a facade?
My emotions undulate from trying so hard and I'm
Tired of pretending to be someone that I'm not.
I'm sorry I'm not perfect, I never can be
I'm sorry you're doomed but this is me,
Waiting and waiting for you to see
I'm falling apart, simultaneously picking up every piece.
You've loved me with all you had
But sometimes, love's just not enough-
Not to raise a child to face a world so tough
I've seen demons, been in uncharted territory
And left unprotected from all the world's cruelty.
Now I'm sure there's nothing I haven't seen
Except for your brutal hands around my neck
Strangling me harder and harder to death.
Like a pianist pushed to play the harp,
I stumble with the weight of the responsibility I'm faced with
To talk and talk and talk,
Until all my words fall short;
I've got nothing to humor you anew
Always trying and trying to keep the spirits light,
Can't none of you see I'm spiraling out in the dark?
No, I can't be the one to hold you all.
Nobody's asking you to leave,
But you keep forcing me to stay.
I swear it's not going to be long before I decide to walk away
From all of these leashes holding me back
But now, the will to live is the only thing I lack.
All those scars on my back, so oblivious to your eyes
Why am I always the only one to compromise?
We're the best family you've ever known, clearly,
But I know for sure that we're not meant to be.
If we maybe see each other in another life,
I hope there isn't this sorrow, swallowing us rife
Like a pitstop explosion amidst nothing but a void.