I Want to Put My Grief at a Halt Like a Pile of Dirty Clothes – Delhi Poetry Slam

I Want to Put My Grief at a Halt Like a Pile of Dirty Clothes

BY ADDHAYA ANIL

Not today. I have had enough. I'm putting my grief at
a halt like a pile of dirty clothes.

Saturday is assigned to deal with the grief of meeting
you. Saturday has more hours, and I can stay awake
till the sun rises next. I don't have an office on
Sunday, so I can sulk in and let the grief seep in for
more than twenty-four hours.

I pick up the watermelon-printed top and wash it like
the rain that washes away the dirt from my skin, my
skin that is meant only to be touched by your delicate hands.

Monday isn't blue anymore; it's pitch dark, like the
colour of a soul stuck in a dungeon.

No light enters there anymore.

Tuesday is to clean up the little spots from the socks.
I do not have the space to deal with much, so we go
little by little. We take one pair in the morning before
the office starts and hope to clean the rest of them
by the evening.

It's already midnight.

Wednesday ended in the blink of an eye.

On Thursday, I chose to rest and prepare myself well.
Prepare for the strength I'll need on Friday to be
ready for Saturday and Sunday.

I made up this analogy in my head to deal with
the grief you left me with, grief I cannot
blame you for.

It's always easier to hold liable.

Something. Someone.

And because I cannot,
I say it's my laundry to be blamed.

I overlooked my dirty clothes
for I was too busy decorating my heart.

 


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