By Lineysha Suneja
The hatred I have against you in my head
I would be a fool if I forgive you for what you said
Your pretentious love that I longed for
I didn't ask for anything more
I just wanted to talk to you
I just wanted to be with you
I just wanted you
Did I ask for something that you could never give to me or my mom?
You aren't the kind of person
Who is worth calling 'father'
My mom should've left you
To clear all the mess you made
It would've been a piece of cake for her
To leave you with it
But she chose to stay
And then you dragged yourself away
You showed time and time again
That you weren't worth calling 'husband' too
I was six,
When you stepped out of that door
And I know my dreams were killed
My perfect family is no more
You showed you were misunderstood
But my mom was broken too
The way you treated your parents
Was it justified?
Handcuffing them
And showing this game is wrecked
Getting all their love, you want
And then break their heart
After all this time
I know,
You weren't worth calling 'son' too
The parties I planned
And the shows that you canceled
Enjoying life
When I was crying
I held you tight
But I never felt you by my side
Everything makes sense now
And I understand
You aren't the person
Who is worth calling 'father'
If you really loved me
Then why I couldn't feel that love for 6 years?
The tears I shed for you
You never asked me what's wrong
Daydreaming,
My perfect family would get back together again
But oh! With you in my dreams
It's hard to believe
'Cause fathers aren't cruel as you
The tears forming in my eyes
When I felt you miles away
Everyone having fun with their families
But mine is broken already
Trying to soak in tears
When I see a father with his daughter
Making everything out of that little moment
The silence that cuts my heart
When I remember
We could never be
My friends all around
Feel their fathers around
Their little moments
That they tell to me
That moment of silence
With them asking-
"Isn't your father around?"
The answers I form in my head
Not to start this conversation again
Their sympathy isn't what I need
Those little moments would make me feel free
It has been 4 years
When I finally felt free
The closure I got
When I finally felt
That you would never come back to me
So, I started a new life
Without you
But with my mom by my side
We feel lighter
After we stopped pulling the ropes
That would drag you
Into our lives again
Now, your life is a hell
And we are finally back to heaven
I guess, you understood
The diamonds you lost
For your greed of beauty
Now, you're left with nothing
But a monster, like you
The karma is hitting you back
You didn't find the beauty
That you wanted in me or my mom
Your castle is crumbling
And you can't find help anywhere
After all
You came back to me
Feeling guilty
But what about the girlhood,
You took away from me
The scars formed at the back of my mom's hand
Showing signs of-
Of a ruthless monster she carried for lives
No wonder,
Everyone called you a monster
It's finally daylight
After we let you go
You are free to-
To find the beauty, you wanted
In you wife
And, in your daughter
'Cause we are not beautiful enough
But we are enough for each other
You were the monster who cut our beautiful wings
But it's fine now
We are on our way to make new ones already
And now,
We have enough sense to understand
That you are not a husband
Or a father
But a monster
So, go on with your life
We don't need you by our side