UNATTENDED

By-Deepika M

You turn off the lights, to call it a day, as you prepare to sleep,

your mind flickers to a certain incident that happened earlier in the day,

an argument based on the worst type of loneliness - and

you had laughed at the arguments that flew back and forth,

Being friend zoned by your crush shouted a tall one,

When freaking blue ticks are all that is on your chat solemnly said another,

To feel alone in a crowd said a voice soft, face down, eyes tracing the floor pattern,

Coming back to an empty home is the worst lonely feeling says one,

No, coming back to an home where no one cares is the worst argues the other,

as the answers flew back and forth, you wondered,

did they ever know that being alone with the demons on your mind

with no soul to notice your tension is far worse?

did they know that the worst type of loneliness is

being surrounded by a cobweb of thoughts,

but no one lend an ear to listen to them with no judgment?

No, they never know, for you have your act of All is Well on.

To those that know you well enough they know you are not as normal as you act,

for they think they know your demons and thoughts

that race along in that over thinking brain of yours,

but you are still alone, why so? because they do not know your demons.

They only think they do, but no they do not understand the concept of your demons.

It is not just insecurity as they call, there is much more

It is not over analyzing simple things, there is more

It has taken years for you to come to terms with it,

to know who you are, to discover your new self,

to accept the new you, along with your demons.

You do have a certain someone, who can understand these,

'cuz they experience something similar,

slowly, your demons start to disappear for a certain time frame

but as time goes by, they are tired of your recurring breakdowns,

they no longer want to lend an ear, they avoid you,

mock you to go see a doctor for yourself in a joking way,

but it stings your inner being, and the demon regains its centre stage,

you are again pushed back into that dark pit of loneliness.

They are no longer there for you, as you have lost a certain connection

the one that ran bone deep and beyond, they have shut you down

you are now deserted, you no longer exist in their life,

you try by all means to regain your forte, but in vain.

You are now all alone, left to go astray in the middle of an ocean.

A tear drop rolls down and drops on the pillow, waking you from your thoughts,

You heave an exasperated sigh for you have fed your demons a good amount of fuel,

and with one thought repeating like a broken record in your brain -

“You are always alone, with your demons, for they are you.”

you lull into a deep slumber, to fight back again tomorrow.

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This poem has been published in the book 'The Last Flower Of Spring'. Buy the paperback copy on Amazon: https://tinyurl.com/y9sydnxn