Unrested & Chained, trying to dream:

Divnoor Kaur

Last night while I was trying to sleep
I went to places I had never been
With my thoughts and insecurities
Last night I kept thinking
Wandering from one episode to another
Hopping between my memories
Some comforting, some refreshing,
while some too overwhelming
Last night I attracted all the negativities
Worrying about the future
Pondering upon my past
Like today was an impossibility
Too much discomfort, too frightening !!
Last night I couldn’t sleep
With so many questions on my mind
Wondering about life & my being
Pressurising my brain with my flaws
Choosing the trait of vulnerability
Shaping my virtual, perfect outside with blank insides
My mind, not calm, not composed, not healthy
Believing I am nothing,
Filling my brain with heaviness of insecurities
Like some useless, worthless, hopeless pest
Fearing to try, not helping but troubling
Last night while I was trying to sleep
I went to places I had never been
I feared flying in the sky of dreams
Afraid of the height,
Focusing on the clouds of darkness
Forgetting the ray of light waiting for me
Remembering all my faults
Holding to my deficiencies-
Too many, now known by all
Tonight wishing to rest this imperfect being,
To get rid of these chains,
To fly freely, to my kingdom of dreams!

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