Home is where it starts

Lavanya Arumugam

It was another normal day and a normal conversation with my mom. She gave me the news about one of my cousin’s marriage who was 6 years younger to me. I was shell-shocked as she wasn’t out of her college yet. “It is good if she can grow professionally after marriage. But what if she couldn’t? She has to be dependent on her husband for every penny.” As thoughts started flowing,

“Now, my mom would start about my marriage,” this thought also hit me hard. Staying away from home has the advantage of taking up most of the conversations on a call; you can lie on any conversation. As expected she started about my marriage and I showed my disinterest as usual. She was totally tired of hearing my lame reasons. I was taken by surprise when she said, “Let us know if you like someone, we will get you married to him. “If I had known this earlier, I would have considered those guys who showed interest on me,” I thought. When I confronted my relationship status, she repeated and tried to convince me.

So, I had to say about all those guys and confirm that I rejected all of them. “I will consider if anyone approaches me and will let you know if I like him,” I
added. She didn’t react much as she knew that I’m picky. After months when I went home for a weekend, again they took up the same. Considering the guy who proposed me for marriage a few days back, I asked her, “What if the guy is not from our community?” “You have to ask your dad,” she said. I wasn’t surprised; this happened every time I take up something. When I started the same question to my dad, his words made it clear that he is against inter-caste marriages. And he had a reason for the same. When the conversation turned to an argument, my sister joined me. When my dad had to agree with me disinterestedly, he walked out of the room. Once he left, my mom in her lower voice said, “Your dad knows nothing about what happens in most families nowadays. He knew the least about how incompatibility can break the marriage.” I was surprised by her understanding of the recent generation. Also, I wondered why she didn’t say that when my dad was arguing. Yes, she doesn’t speak her mind before my dad. I felt blessed about my freedom of
thoughts. “Freedom and independence start from home,” I thought.

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