He loves me, He loves me not

Shefali Malandkar

So it's been a while now,
we talk like we know each other.
A small convo everyday,
Now and then just dropping 'Hey!'
He's nice and caring ,
Makes me forget my worries,
Makes me smile.
He talks all sweet,
Sometimes I almost believe it.
But he shouldn't flirt with me so casually
When he says " You're my world!"
Or when he calls me 'Babe'
Or when we talk for hours on phone
Or when he finds me whenever I feel alone.
He shouldn't flirt with me so casually
When I know they are nothing but words.
He shouldn't... If he's not interested.
I wish I could see him but all I see is a pixelated screen,
sometimes clear, sometimes shattered, sometimes confused like me.
He acts like there's something but it never crosses the line
Just something I believe are signs.
At every kiss emotion my heart skips a beat
And I tell myself 'that's it!'
Make a call and let's confess it.
But I have dropped a bunch of hints
I'm tired now.
It's confusing and messed up.
I'm living everyday hiding my feelings, lying,
Asking myself, asking you in my head-
"Is it wrong of me to think about you think of me?
Is it wrong of me to bring you unconsented in my dreams?
Is it wrong of me to love you, think of you more than a friend?
Or is it a little crazy to comprehend? "
He shouldn't flirt with me so casually
because I am already involved.
He loves me or he loves me not?
He cares about me but doesn't have a hint of my thoughts.
Or does he?
"I imagine what you might look like behind that keypad.
Do you visualize me?
Do you see me blushing on your texts
or anxiously waiting for your reply
or watching your movements
and your last seens?
If only through this screen
I could sneak out in your world and before night falls, sneak back in,
This distance wouldn't have mattered,
I would have gotten a clear read.
Is it wrong of me to get serious in our casual fling?
I'm tired of these guessing games,
Tryna read between the lines,
Tryna read your mind
Or why can't you just come clean with me
Let me know if you love me or....
I'll be fine.
So it's been a while now,
we talk like we love each other.

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