IF IT HADN’T BEEN…

Tanvi Nagar

Dear mum, my childhood began the day I came to you, 

But when you let my hand slip away, it ended much before it had to,

When pain flows in my veins, I’m shrouded with memories and wonder why, 

Why you decided to end it all, after saying that mysterious good bye.

Dear mum, I too had to live in my secret garden full of flowers, 

I too wished that I would get drenched in the monsoon showers,

I too had dreams of touching the stars, reaching for heights,

But all I could dream of was that terrible night. 

Dear mum, when I was clouded with the veils of solitude,

I wished you would comfort me and my fears would elude,

I wish you would be here and sing to me stories of the stars in the night sky,

Instead, in the depths of my soul resonated your final words of goodbye. 

My childhood was like a desire which couldn’t ever be mine,

It began the day I came to you and ended much before time,

If you hadn’t asked how much I was worth, how much he would pay,

That night if you hadn’t traded me for a few moments of lust, I wouldn’t have been a slave.