I see you

Renuka Srija

Every night I fall asleep, I see,
In dreams, and in real sometimes I feel,
I could see you everywhere back then
But now, I see you only in my nightmares.

Not every tale ends as “happily forever” I realized
I found you dead in the middle of no where
assassinated by brats who had no mercy, while
I was hit and lying on the street motionless

I have those dreams recurring every night
But only this time it seems real, but different,
From what happened that unfatal night,
These dreams look prophetic and not recurring anymore.

you smile, as blood bleeds from those sore wounds,
an evil smile that betrays all innocence, which isn’t you
fear ran through my spine as I see you killing,
killing those brats brutally, in the same place

I wake up in the middle of midnight, sweating
Nightmares I think and eat pills as if they are candy
Next day, I see the wound healing on my forehead.
I come out to of room, only to see my parents,
Looking at me in fear, which was quite deterrence.

Taking me to counsellor just me wonder,
What happened? Did I make any blunder?
I sat there with confused state of mind,
Forced to talk with the women sitting
in front, who actually seemed kind.

she asked with a pitiful yet charming smile,
how has life been treating you for a while?
With a half-smile and confusion, I said it’s fine
But the look she gave, I think she expects me to whine.

Cut short, she asked me about the screams
I do every night; I stare her in shock and look Blank,
do I really shout out loud and is it not just in dreams?
Breaking the silence, I tell her everything about my dreams.

I see that she isn’t smiling anymore, making me nervous
She asks me did you read today’s newspaper?
I sit there confused again, did the wound stop my ability
to think? Or is something going on which I am not aware of
she said me with pity look, only you can stop this
not sure what does she mean but it finally struck my mind

I read the paper lying there in hurry and shocked,
Last night wasn’t just dream and brat was actually killed
I sit there still and in silence, while she was trying to
Comfort me, despite knowing that I am now in big soup

I come home dwelling with tears and acting strange,
I smile as nothing happened in house, which is now a cage
I took pills and cried in pain, slowly slipping to sleep
Because now I need to confront my biggest fear

I see you, again with the same smile,
Smile, which doesn’t seem like you kyle!
I gasp in fear as I see you again killing another brat,
Tried to speak but in vain, is it my fear or you?
Which lead me to cry out in pain, once again.

I open my eyes with anguish and fear but,
my parents were beside me trying to hold me together,
Oh my! Did I cry out again aloud? This has to stop
And only I can because it’s either now or never

Pacifying them wasn’t easy, as I feel
these dreams are making me now dizzy
I see the news and there it is again,
A guy dies in the middle of the road,
Is anyone out there trying to connect the chain?

I sit there in silence while things going out of control
This time you try to bring me back to dreams again,
Chasing me in even in the daylight, I do not want
To witness another tragedy honey, leave me alone as
I whisper, scaring people around me with my tone

You take me to dreams every time I feel weak,
Now I am stopped sleeping the whole week
I see that you stopped killing others without me,
So, this killing happens in real, only while I am asleep.

Red retina and swollen eyes because I refuse to sleep,
To stop this brutality, enough with the bloodshed
My eyes are too sore now, even to weep
Now I see you fading in and out, is it real or surreal
Trying to trick me to sleep, honey please rest in your burial

I see you again, but not with evil smile,
But with a pain in eyes, you touch my eyes,
And kiss my forehead, while I cry to see you in real
I held your hand and try conveying through my eyes
To stop you from killing more, even if they are bad.

This time you take me back to that day again,
Despite my unwillingness, despite my no
only to show me things that happened on that
Unfatal night, but this time from your perspective

You tried to show me everything in dream
But it felt so real, I could feel your heart
And it’s beat which was comforting as always
Of course, it is, you are making relive that day
Don’t know why but this time from your side

I see those brats come towards to hit you,
While you try every possible way to escape
I still think why were you being hit all of sudden,
That’s when the brat whispers in your ears
about me, as what he could a done

you were trying to saving me from brats,
taking the unfatal and brutality upon you
which was written in my fate the whole time,
it was never your death in the first-place honey,
I see that you were smashed to death, only,
After seeing me hit on my head and faint eventually

I cry in pain this time, for real, aloud
Scattering things around in anger now
I could have saved you, you would been alive
I am trying to process the vengeance inside
Which ignited after knowing why and how you died

I see you, again in my dreams knowing that
You are not rested in peace, even heaven.
You want me to witness their death again,
so, do I this time, you take me back to sleep
This time, should I stop or see them die?

I chose to stop and go to that place this time,
To connect the dots between my dreams
And their death in real, to witness the
Only question prevailing in mind, how?

But I do not see you this time, but why?
I wandered the place trying to figure out,
What have I been missing or done wrong?
shouting in pain aloud I left the place in despise

I see you again, luring me into sleep
But I chose not to follow, this time
You chase me till I fall asleep and here I am,
In middle of the most horrifying dream again!

But this time something felt wrong, you weren’t you,
I know you seek vengeance, but you are eviller now
Not evening sparing me to let me forget the pain
Honey to what do I owe you, to love me this much
But stop, you are killing me inside and them physically
I cry in pain again, since you are the trigger,
I struggle in my dreams, trying to come out
But I can’t, you are scaring me now with this behaviour,
I see you with the same evil smile, again
towards the brat vouching to kill him in vengeance,

I know you seek justice for the night, but,
this isn’t you; I saw real you the other night
but today, you look evil, evil than the brat,
I know it’s some evil presence over shadowing you
Now I can connect the dots, I need to stop you.

Stop you and send you where you find peace,
With a goodbye, only of our good memories,
I see you trying to cannibalise the brat as I approach,
With a heart full of love for you still, I chose to stop

I don’t care you kill me, but you need to be stopped,
Strength in me to stop you just unlocked,
I come towards, and hold hands and ask you to stop
You look deep in my eyes for second and then push me aback

I know this dream is a parallel world now,
And I am using all my strength in this world,
In sleep, struggling to stop you from doing wrong
I cry in pain again while trying to stop you,
In the parallel world or this one, you are my beau.

I cry out to you and beg you to stop this brutality,
I stand before you and remind our beautiful memories
You calm slowly, while I held your hand again and cry
I open up about my unexpressed love towards you,
Which I hid from you so far, pondering them to you
While I realize I was the one holding you back,
All these times, that’s when It struck me,
What my counsellor said, only I can stop this.

I gave both of us the closure, while I see you smile,
Smile which isn’t scary anymore, I see you
For the last time, I love you, but aren’t with me anymore
I see your fade-in while kissing me goodbye, as I cry
This time I wake up with love you left and finally giving
You, your last goodbye, you were my only beau!

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