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I Miss Love

By Parul Mahajan

 

I think I miss love

When my eyes close at night to the sound of the ceiling fan
When I take turns on my bed, hugging my blanket closer to myself
When I reach out with my hand to the rays of the sun peeping through my window, to play with them as I try to avoid waking up
I miss love
When I sit alone in a park, typing a poem on my notepad and occasionally watching the kids playing basketball
When it's 7 30 pm dark and it's the kind of cold that's not chilly at all, but cold
When I spend so  much time looking at the newspaper, thinking about a million other things and I realise my half cup of tea is cold already
When I look at a woman, making space for the baby she carries around inside her as she sits
When I smile at her, when she smiles at me
I miss love
I miss the silence that settles between two people who look at each other for too long and run out of words, like the 'just happened rain' water on the grass
Slowly, melting down seeping through everything under it
I miss a hand my hand perfectly fits in, where my never ending tendency to always be warm doesn't seem to matter
Where the metal of my rings doesn't seem to irritate me because I feel they're safe now
When I'm listening to the insects hum in the background of my heartache
As I sit here, on a bench
thinking about the outline of a love I haven't met yet
I think

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